in the red...

Still trying to be more productive with my painting. I started my career as a professional fashion illustrator. You couldn't stop me from drawing. Now I can't get started. Always had work. Never had to worry about the next job. To bad, fashion illustration is a dead art. I can do that in my sleep.
I started painting in red tones. I never painted it red. Not my favorite color. I always prefer cool colors. I lived in Asia most of my adult life and red was always used for "luck" so maybe it will bring some luck. Not sure though. Red always makes me think of blood. It also is a color I associate with my brother. Unfavorite color, unfavorite brother. I guess I associate color with people. Brown reminds me of my dad because he had a brown suede coat that I just loved how it smelled. It really had the scent of English Leather aftershave, which had a brown wooden screw top on a brown bottle on it. Brown is my Dad. I started drinking coffee after my dad passed away, brown color, he always drank it, scent again. Never drank coffee until he died, always drank tea. Never paint in Browns, maybe I should. I always like brown and blue. My sister is orange, she always drank Orange soda as a kid. Me, I have no idea what color I am. I feel like I am white, pure, light, illuminated, but I always wear black, absence of color & light. I think black and white are the same. I think they balance each other so they are equal. Like yin and yang. One is not balanced without the other. I love light blue, powder blue, pale blue. It makes me think of the sky, unlimited, free, endless, no boundaries. I think that is the free spirit in me. At least I think I am a free spirit, or at least I was. My mom, she is green, a dark mossy green, the kind of moss the covers things, so that other things can't grow. Can't breath. I think her green moss, smothered my dad's brown earth. Or he was the brown tree branch and she was the green leaves. A tree dies without its leaves. My other brother, I never knew. He died when I was born. Maybe that is why I have a hard relationship with my Mom. She was in mourning with one child while giving birth to another. I have no idea what color he would be. I guess he would be a primary color, like yellow. I always associate yellow with happiness. I think he being the first born son would be happiness. I like yellow. It was my favorite color for a long time.